Topsy- Turvy

Imagine how out of sync one needs to be to confuse Advent and Lent.. One a period of waiting, the other a headlong descent into disaster... Hardly surprising I chose to stay in the first. However that itself raises a theological question.. How many times have we chosen to 'wait'.. to stay rooted to the spot rather than walk bravely towards the unknown?

I have always seen myself as being a bit brave and adventurous. (I am aware others call it silly and reckless!!) Not afraid to take a few risks or tackle the unknown. However if I am honest with myself I have to accept that the risks I was prepared to take and the unknowns I was happy to tackle were essentially external. That is to say, that the content and purpose was outside of my sense of identity and self. If they did not work out, and they often haven't, then I could live with the results. Unpleasant and painful but not really defining. What I have always shied away from is taking risks with the things that I believe define me. Even giving voice to them is done reluctantly and with trepidation and is usually followed by a quick retreat to a position of safety. There are sound reasons for this. Any psychologist worth her salt would be able to find ample justification for why I have built a protective shell around the parts of me that I see as central.

The problem with this approach appears to be that you continually find yourself coming back to the same spot time and time again. Like the popularly discussed definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting the outcome to be different!

I begin to wonder whether what I am expected to give up for Lent this year is not so much a tangible behaviour or attitude as it is an insidious approach to life that is as damaging as it is reasonable.